I have a question for you... Are you...
- encountering anxiety, stress, overwhelm, or racing thoughts?
- constantly trying to prove your value?
- struggling to regulate your emotions when you communicate?
I see you.
I've been there too.
These signs are an invitation.
An invitation to shift into a more powerful, fulfilled version of you.
Right now, you're probably trapped in a story. The story could be...
The job is the problem.
The board is the problem.
My team is the problem.
The company culture is the problem.
[Fill in the blank] is the problem.
And sometimes it is. But a lot of time, it's not. Or it's just a part of it.
I really want you to think about that.
Still don't believe me?
How often have you moved from thing to thing—be that a new job, a new city, a new relationship, or a new hobby—to only repeat simliar patterns?
These signs—and patterns—reflect the state of your inner world. And your inner world shapes how you perceive the outer world.
Imagine feeling clarity, courage, confidence, and connection instead. How would that change your career? Your life?
Time to shift—but how do you shift?
Own your life. Choose to be the creator of your life.
What do I mean by that?
Believe that you have control over what happens—or at least that you can choose how to respond to the world—when things happen outside of your control.
It sounds scary, but it's incredibly freeing. Trust me.
But before you can truly integrate that belief, the body needs to feel safe.
That's what today's is all about.
INQUIRY OF THE WEEK
What role does stress play in your life?
Stress is a constant—and pain point—for most people. I've observed that it's become a kind of addiction for many of us. We're addicted to stress on a chemical level—without even realizing it. Our habits and behaviors fuel that addiction. Observe the role stress plays in your life and career.
What's the impact? What habits or behaviors are creating unnecessary stress?
|
Unbounded learning of the week
—the autonomic nervous system explained
At the core of your nervous system is the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates involuntary bodily functions like heart rate, breathing, digestion, and more.
The ANS has two main branches:
- Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) - Responsible for the “fight-or-flight” response, activating when you perceive stress or threat.
- Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) - Controls the “rest-and-digest” state, promoting relaxation and conserving energy.
Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, goes a level deeper into the ANS and how it responds to perceived safety or danger with three primary states:
- Ventral Vagal (Social Engagement): This state is activated when you feel safe and connected, promoting prosocial behaviors like curiosity, empathy, and trust.
- Sympathetic (Mobilization): Activated during perceived threats, triggering the fight-or-flight response.
- Dorsal Vagal (Immobilization): Reserved for life-threatening situations, this state can lead to dissociation, numbness, or shutdown.
Why does this matter?
As an ambitious woman in startup land, you face daily triggers that can dysregulate your nervous system (→ sympathetic and dorsal vagal states), like:
- Constant performance pressure and big goals
- Lack of work-life balance and burnout risk
- Imposter syndrome and self-doubt
- Navigating gender biases and microaggressions
- Isolation from remote work
The result?
- Difficulty managing stress and overwhelm
- Impaired decision-making and problem-solving
- Challenges with emotional intelligence and empathy
- Strained communication and team dynamics
- Increased leadership/employee burnout and turnover
The solution? Mastering your nervous system.
Bold experiment of the week
—tracking triggers for nervous system mastery
Before you can master your nervous system, it's vital to identify what triggers a dysregulated state.
Follow these simple steps for the next week to uncover your core triggers:
- Notice the trigger signs:
→ Shallow breathing
→ Increased heart rate and perspiration
→ Strong emotional reaction (you can sense within or express to others)
→ Feeling defensive or reactive
→ Tension in the body (normally jaw, shoulders, chest, or hips)
→ Closing your body language (think a protection stance)
→ Thinking in polarity (black-and-white thinking)
- Notice what's happening:
→ What is the situation? What are the observable facts?
→ Who's involved?
→ What specifically is being said? Perceived tone used?
→ What's the impact?
→ How are you responding?
- Notice your narrative:
→ What story or soundtrack is playing in your mind? (e.g., Tom has no idea what he's talking about. I can't wait to be done with this conversation.)
→ What emotions are connected to the thought? Where do they show up in the body?
- Track your observation and identify trends:
→ Write down what you noticed in steps 1-3 each time it happens in work and life.
→ After the week is done, what patterns do you notice?
→ If you were to go deeper, what might really be going on to trigger your nervous system? Related to past experiences? Unmet needs? Values misalignment?
✨ Already know your triggers and ready to master the nervous system? Start here.
Article: Five Ways to Protect Yourself From Stress and Work Overload
A new book—Burnout Immunity by Kandi Weins—shares 5 skills to prevent work-related burnout:
- Self-awareness
- Regulation
- Meaningful connections
- Mindset
- Reconnect and reimagine
I love this article not only because it reflects my journey as an ambitious woman, but most of my clients' journeys, too.
My tip? Start with regulating the nervous system and cultivating self-awareness with compassion.
